It’s always a surprise when we find out some variety of nonsense we thought was long gone turns out to still be with us, like astrology, “channeling,” or interest in a Full House reunion show. Add “Satanic Ritual Abuse” to that pile of idiocy that simply won’t go away: We thought it was a wholly debunked artifact of the 1980s, but apparently there are still a few “therapists” out there who are dedicated to “helping survivors” of the nonexistent bands of Satanists who have supposedly traumatized millions with all the baby sacrifice and stuff. In reality-land, people figured out fairly quickly that, no, there wasn’t a nationwide network of Satanists forcing daycare kids to witness babies being fed to sharks. The complete lack of missing babies was one of the tip-offs, there.

And yet here we are in 2016, with some quacks still in full Satanic Panic mode, organizing conferences warning about the clear and present dangers of “Satanic Abuse.” Problem is, according to the rationalist wacktivists of the Satanic Temple (who aren’t really “Satanists” so much as anti-theocracy advocates), the “therapists” seem to be the ones who are desperately in need of help. And perhaps having their licensure revoked, please.